@SteveZaragoza died #crumplin. Always gunning for a laugh, Steve leapt at the opportunity that surged through his body after a late night of eating Taco Bell. Steve never "passed" gas. He PRESENTED it. As he cocked his cheek, he misjudged his cock, and cocked too hard, resulting in a punishing fall from his ergonomic perch. A final breath reverberated from his jeans. It was majestic. RIP Steve.
@NerdsWorth died #crumplin. "It's opposite day," exclaimed NerdsWorth right before he challenged the Draconian laws of physics and gravity. "You have to walk on the ceiling now," he foolishly proclaimed as he enthusiastically jumped, flipped upside-down, and crashed onto the unforgiving office floor in one fail swoop. RIP NerdsWorth.
@aspyn15gymnast died #crumplin. Zayn Malik used to send shivers down aspyn15gymnast's spine. But after announcing his departure, those shivers of adulation were replaced by seething anger and heartbreak. Her fragile heart-spot ached as she ascended her father's work ladder to rip Zayn's poster off of the beige ceiling above her bed. As she plummeted, one thought echoed through her final moments: "I love you Zayn. I'm sorry." RIP aspyn15gymnast